Psalm 19

It's just been another one of those beautiful days.

 Thank you Lord!

Blessed

Man, I'm missing this sweet, little, baby face today.  I've just been sitting here on the couch at my Nana and Papaw's house and looking through all my pictures.  As I was looking through my pictures from my summer in Peru and remembering all that the Lord has done and continues to do there, I was reminded how blessed I am.

God is at work all around me.  It doesn't matter if I'm thousands of miles away in Peru, going to school in the Windy City, or sitting at my grandparent's house in Kentucky, God is always at work, faithfully orchestrating my life.  I am blessed beyond measure.  The Lord has really revealed that to me in these past several days as I've gotten to slow down and just talk with my grandparents.  Yesterday as we were sitting at the counter, Nana shared her testimony and then Papaw shared his.  I've heard both of their testimonies before, but never consecutively.  It was beautiful to see how God had his hand in every little thing that happened in order to lead them to each other when their testimonies began to weave together.  It's amazing how when God gets ahold of someone's heart, He never lets it go.  He protected and kept both my Nana and Papaw all of their lives as He faithfully directed and guided them along somewhat curvy paths.  To hear what God brought them through in their pasts and how He has abundantly blessed them and all of us kids and grandkids through them, just blows my mind.  It's a story of God's faithfulness.  I couldn't attribute it to anything or anyone else.  God alone.  His love and faithfulness is what kept them and has continued to bless them and bless me as I've gotten to see their example of love, marriage, service and a relationship with our Father in Heaven.  Ahh I am just so thankful for them!

Sometimes it makes me wonder why I was born into this family.  Why did God choose to place me in America, to grow up in a Christian home with a Christian education and with parents who love each other and love God even more.  To be blessed with grandparents who have set an incredible example for not only their children, but their grandchildren and everyone who they have loved and served.  To be blessed with brothers who love God and want to serve Him with their lives, and cousins, aunts and uncles who have all given their lives to our Father, God.

I don't think I thank the Lord enough for all of this.

On top of all of that, right now: I'm writing this post on my laptop.  Underneath a roof.  In a house.  With a fan blowing on me. Laying in a bed. With clothes on my back, and a full tummy. Knowing that my family is in the next room over.  If I need anything I can walk down the hall.  I have running water in the bathroom directly across the hall.  The fridge is overflowing with food and even more is in the fridge outside. There's a car - make that two - in the garage, and two more that my family and cousins drove over. . . and the list goes on and on. . .

This isn't to boast in what I have, but to remind myself that I have more than enough.  The Lord has blessed me abundantly and I have nothing to complain about - ever.  Instead, my heart must cry out with thankfulness to God for all that He has entrusted me with.  It is a privilege and huge responsibility.  How can I use this for His glory and give back to Him?

Sometimes all of this makes me wonder why I was born here, with all of these blessings from God and why my precious, baby Aymar was born in a dump in Trujillo, Peru with barely enough food for the day.  It doesn't seem fair and I oftentimes find myself thinking about this and feeling guilty for all that I have. Why me? Why not Aymar and her family? I'm pretty sure if I tried to number the things that the Lord has entrusted me with I wouldn't be able to, whereas Aymar and her family can probably count on their fingers the number of things that they have.  

I don't think that God wants us to compare our circumstances, because ultimately He is sovereign and knows exactly why we were placed where we are.  He has reason and purpose for all that He does.  But I do think that through considering these things, I am reminded of the responsibility that I have to take care of those who have less than me.  As a believer and follower of Christ, I believe that we have the responsibility and the joy of sharing our food with the hungry, of providing the poor wanderer with shelter - when we see the naked to clothe them and not turn away from anyone in need (Isaiah 58).  God promises that when we do this - when we reach out to these precious children of His - our lights will break forth like the dawn, healing will quickly appear, righteousness will go before us, and the glory of the Lord will be our rear guard.  When we call on the Lord, He promises to answer our cries for the people that He has placed on our hearts! This amazes me.  

Our God is faithful.  He has blessed us so that we can bless others and shine with a radiance that points directly to His goodness and grace.  

I Am Still With You

I was looking through an old journal from 2009, and found this poem that God laid on my heart one morning while watching the sun rise:

I wait anxiously as the sky 

Begins to fill with brilliant colors 

And the majesty of the sun

Peaks over the distant horizon. 

Blown away I sit and watch. 

Thoughts begin to flood my mind. 

Overwhelmed by the beauty of Creation, 

I sit silent. 

Slowly the sun glistens 

Through the branches 

Of the Oak tree, 

Each branch full of colorful fall leaves, 

Ready to break free 

And fall to the ground 

In anticipation of winter. 

The sky is now splashed with colors of blue, 

Deep blue and white, 

And the day is just beginning. 

As I sit silently on the damp steps, 

Covered with a thin layer of morning dew, 

I am reminded Who made all these things. 

From the outstanding orange and yellow 

That each tree seems to boast, 

To the rays of sunlight 

Bursting through the thick 

Smoke of the chimney. 

The awakening of each and every bird 

With its unique call and sound, and 

The dew on each leaf, that 

Gives each one the look 

Of existence and splendor. 

Even as a small bird flutters across the sky, 

I ask myself: 

“Who gave the bird the ability to fly? 

Who feeds the Raven? 

Who clothes the lily of the field

And makes it grow? 

Who watches over the wild animals 

And gives them a place to stay?

Who paints the sky with a 

Unique, new, pattern every morning, 

Never ceasing to amaze me?” 

…In my silence, I found the answer, 

As a still small voice whispered into my ear:


 "I did – 

I created all this for you, 

So that you would run back to Me. 

A long time ago I walked you through 

My perfect garden, 

But you ran from Me. 

I called out to you, 

But you did not answer… 

You were scared and ashamed 

Because you had abandoned My instruction. 

So I waited - patiently, anxiously - 

Just as you wait for that 

Beautiful sunrise every morning. 

I called out to you through 

Those early morning sights: 

Through the birds. 

Through the painted skies. 

Through the colors splashed in the trees, and 

Through the rays of sunlight 

Piercing those puffy white clouds. 

I silently called to you as you 

Passed by those moss-covered rocks 

Cloaked in white rapids – 

You never stopped to take it all in. 

I called, you did not answer. 

Oh, how I long to be with the 

Creature I have created. 

Because you are my daughter. 

I am your Father, and I love you.” 

In my silence, I close my eyes, 

And picture the face of my Father. 

With a power and might so immense, 

I am left unable to look into his eyes. 

It’s as if the sun were reflecting on a sheet of ice, 

Blinding me from all that surrounds me. 

My Father is gentle, and loving, 

His warmth is bound around me, 

But I can sense His justice and authority 

As I am enveloped in His arms of love. 

It is then that I realize that there is 

Nowhere to flee from His Spirit. 

His presence is everywhere I look. 

As I look into the sky, 

I see His warm smile. 

When I feel unloved, and 

As if no one in this world cares, 

My Father in heaven does. 

As I run my race, 

Day by day, 

And feel weak and weary, 

He is there to lift me up. 

Through the brilliance of Creation 

I see His face. 

He knows everything about me: 

My anxious thoughts, 

When I rise, 

When I fall, 

My actions and my words. 

As I sit, chills run up and down my back – 

My God is ever-present. 

He is near because I’ve called on Him in truth. 

He fulfills my desires, 

For I fear Him. 

Hearing my cry, He saves me, 

And lifts me up out of the pit. 

As I sleep, He watches over me. 

And when I awake 

To start my day once more – 

HE IS STILL WITH ME. 

Wisdom

Open our eyes, Lord,
We want to see Jesus...
To reach out and touch Him,
and say that we love Him

Open our ears, Lord,
And help us to listen
Open our eyes, Lord,
We want to see Jesus.

I love this song.  My heart cries out for the Lord to open my eyes and my ears so that I may see Him, trust Him and walk in obedience every day of my life.

May I listen to the voice of Wisdom, watching daily at her doors, and waiting patiently at her doorway.  When I find Wisdom, I am promised life and favor from the Lord (Proverbs 8:32-35).  Wisdom is in the very nature of God and is his character. . . so when I cry out for wisdom, and ask that God lead me along right paths, I am calling out for God to enter inside of my foolish, human-self, and walk in and through me as I make my daily decisions to be obedient to His Word and honor and glorify Him in everything that I think, say and do.

Thankful.

He is my solid rock and firm foundation. 

I'm thankful today that my God never changes; He is constant and eternal.  He holds my hand as He walks me along right paths, gently guiding me in the direction He wants me to go. 

Trust isn't easy; but knowing that my God is sovereign, that he holds my every moment, knows my every thought and my deepest thoughts that I don't even understand, helps me to rest in his loving embrace.  

He's always waiting for me with open arms. 

G.O.S.P.E.L. Amen.

I saw this in my Introduction to Disciplemaking class and thought that the world should see it too.  Praise the Lord for His grace and redemption!

Hard, but true.

It's ok to be human.

I love it when God decides to encourage His kids through something He previously taught them . . . I was looking through old papers and thoughts I had written down in various places and I found this:

I've been reading a book called Kisses from Katie written by Katie Davis.  God has blessed her with a beautiful story as she is continually following her call to live in Uganda and give her life away to serve the Lord with each breath. I was so encouraged today by the section that I read. She beautifully writes out what she heard God tell her as she contemplated whether or not He wanted her to adopt a couple more girls into her rapidly growing family.  She was wrestling through trusting God as she opened His Word and He spoke into her heart. 

This is what God said to her:  

"It's ok to be human. I created you, I understand.  Do not be afraid; do not be terrified.  I am the Lord your God and I will go with you wherever you go.  I will never leave nor forsake you (see Deuteronomy 31:6).  Remember that my Word says you would be hard-pressed on every side, but never crushed; perplexed but not in despair, persecuted but never abandoned, discouraged by never destroyed (see 2 Corinthians 4:8-9).  When you try to save your own life, your own desires, you will lose.  But when you decide to put aside your desires, to lose your life for Me, you will find it (see Matthew 16:25).  Rest in my perfect peace.  Trust me with all your heart and I will direct your path (see Proverbs 3:5-6).  Sometimes I test your faith, daughter, because it develops perseverance in you, which you need to be mature and complete, not lacking in anything (see James 1:2-4).  I know how much you hurt for these children, I hurt for them more.  In the world you will have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world (see John 16:33).  Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor serving Me, your Father.  Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.  Continue to offer my hospitality to people in need and let Me take care of the rest (see Romans 12:11-13)."

A couple pages later I was encouraged again . . .

"Every morning, as I wake up with some impossible task in front of me, I know that God will meet it with impossible strength and love.  I serve to God who used Moses, a murderer, to part the Red Sea; a God who let Peter, who would deny Him, walk on water.  A God who looks at me, in all my fallen weakness and says, "You can do the impossible." 

Hope

May my hope always be in the Lord. 

Find Rest, O my soul

So thankful today for a God who listens to my anxious heart.

"Find Rest, O my soul

In God alone,

My hope comes from Him.

He alone is my Rock and my Salvation;

He is my fortress

I will not be shaken.

My salvation and honor depend on God,

He is my Mighty Rock,

My Refuge.

Trust Him at all times

Pour out your hearts to Him, 

For God is our Refuge."

Psalm 62:5-8

My God is Faithful

You are there

In every season of my soul

You are there

You're the anchor that will hold

You are there

In the valley of the shadow

YOU ARE FAITHFUL GOD!

The cry of my heart.

Just a couple reminders...

My dear child,

Do not fear - I am with you. Do not be dismayed - I am your God! I will strengthen you and help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)

In your heart, you've planned your course, But I determine your steps! (Proverbs 16:13)

I'm always with you! I hold your right hand. I guide you and will take you into glory.  I am the strength of your heart and portion forever! (Psalm 73:23-26)

I will take hold of your right hand and say to you, Do not fear, I will help you! (Isaiah 41:13)

My precious child, be still.  I will fight for you.  (Exodus 14:14)

Don't you remember, beloved? I am the everlasting God! The Creator of the ends of the earth!! I don't grow tired or weary.  I give strength to the weary and increase the power of the weak.  You will grow tired and weary and stumble and fall, but if you put your hope in Me, I'll RENEW your strength! Not only will you be able to fly, but I'll give you the ability to soar.  I'll give you strength to run this race of life and not grow weary, the strength to walk and never become faint! (Isaiah 40:28-31)

I have redeemed you! I have summoned you by name and YOU ARE MINE!  When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and when you pass through the rivers, they won't sweep over you!  When you walk through the flames of fire, you will not be burned! (Isaiah 43:1-2)

I have made everything beautiful in its time! (Ecclesiastes 3:9-11)

Have I not commanded you already? Be strong and courageous!! Do not be terrified and do not be discouraged, I'll be with you wherever you go! (Joshua 1:9)

TRUST IN ME with ALL of your heart, mind and soul.  Don't lean on your own understanding, but instead, lean on me, rest in me, find comfort in my arms of love.  Acknowledge me in everything that you do and i will direct you along right paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

My compassions never fail, child.  Close your eyes and rest.  Wake up in the morning with the knowledge that my mercies are new every single morning! I am faithful. You can count on that.  Wait for me, hope in me, wait quietly and in silence as you seek me each morning that you awake. (Lamentations 3:22-28)

I know this is a tough one, my dear, but please, DO NOT WORRY.  Don't worry about your life, the things that you'll eat, drink or clothe yourself in.  Life is more important than these things!
I care about the birds...the grass...and the flowers...
You are so much more valuable to Me than they are! By worrying you can't add a single hour to your life.  Rest in me, and try not to have such small faith.  Don't worry!  I know exactly what you need, even before you ask me for it!! Seek Me and My heart before everything that you do and I will bless you with all of these things as well. Don't worry about the stresses of tomorrow, don't question the path that I've led you down.  Tomorrow will worry about itself.  Focus on today, because today has enough worries of it's own.  I've got this. (Matthew 6:25-34)

Remember these things that I have told you, read the letters that I have written to you, and don't forget:
I'm your power - I reign supreme over all things.  I am your Teacher - I will lead you into all truth and fill you with understanding.  I am your Love - I adore you, YOU ARE MINE.  I am your Joy - I dwell in you, move in and through you, and animate you every day.  I am your Light - I guide your path, illuminate my letters to you, and mold you to become more like Myself.  I am your Sanctifier - in body, soul and spirit.  I am your Helper - I will strengthen you when you come to Me with a heart of surrender, I will bless you and keep you, directing your every step.  I am Beautifier - I bring order out of confusion and loveliness out of the chaos in your life. I want to give Myself to you without measure, as a fountain that never stops overflowing with love, joy, peace and guidance.  I am your source of life. Never forget that.

See - I have engraved you on the palms of my hands! (Isaiah 49:16)
You are mine, and I love you! (Isaiah 43)

Love, Papi - your Father, your Friend, your Savior and Redeemer

The Joy of the Lord

So, I'm writing a nice-sized paper for my New Testament class, and am almost finished reading through Acts for the second time.  Today I read in chapter 16, when Paul and Silas were imprisoned.  As they were "praying and singing hymns to God," an earthquake came, and all of the prisoners doors flew open. Paul and Silas had an opportunity to run free and get out of prison so that they could continue their ministry. But when the jailer saw that all of the prisoner's doors were open, he drew his sword and was about ready to kill himself.  He knew that if all of the prisoners had escaped, it was an automatic death sentence, so why not just take his own life before someone else did?  But Paul shouted, "Don't harm yourself, we're all here!" It was because of the integrity of Paul and Silas, their influence on the prisoners around them, and the power of God, that the jailer fell on his knees and pleaded with them, asking,

"What must I do to be saved?"

Paul answered the man, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved..."(Acts 16:31). That night, the jailer took Paul and Silas back to his home, he washed their wounds, fed them a meal, and immediately he and his family were baptized.

This next part is my favorite...

"He was filled with joy because he had come to believe in God"

A man's life was saved as the result of a crazy situation:

Paul and Silas were imprisoned.

At midnight they were praying and singing hymns to God.

All the other prisoners were listening.

A violent earthquake came.

The doors of the prison cells flew open.

AND NO ONE ESCAPED.

In fact...

The jailer was ready to kill himself.

Paul and Silas shouted that no one had left.

The jailer came before them on his knees and surrendered his life to Christ. 

He invited Paul and Silas to his home.

He washed their wounds.

He fed them a meal.

He and his family were baptized.

HE WAS FILLED WITH JOY BECAUSE HE HAD COME TO BELIEVE IN GOD!

What an incredible story. It reveals the sovereignty of our God and Savior.  Paul and Silas were thrown into prison so that they could be a testimony to the men around them.  Their attitudes in worship and integrity were radiant as the men listened to them and the jailer surrendered his life to the God of heaven and earth that night on the cold, prison floor.  

In the midst of trials, we must be patient and trust in the God who holds the universe in the palm of His hand.  His plans are so much greater than our human minds can ever fathom.  Who would have ever thought that God would throw two God-loving, righteous men into a prison cell so that a jailer could come to saving faith..?

Only God.

I also love this story because it is such an incredible reminder to me of the beauty of our salvation.  When this man believed in the Lord, everything in him changed.  His trembling turned to a heart of compassion and hospitality as he opened his home to Paul and Silas and washed their wounds, fed them and was baptized.  He was filled with JOY because he had come to believe in God!  

AHH. Why do we not embrace this joy of the Lord more in our lives?! We who believe are granted this joy from the God of heaven and earth!!! It's a gift! Why do we not bask in this joy every day that we wake up in His presence?  The fact that His mercies are new every single morning, should bring us joy.  The fact that we have a bed to sleep in, clothes on our backs and food to eat, should bring us inexpressible joy.  The fact that we are able to be educated people, should bring us joy.  The fact that we have the freedom to worship and love the Lord Jesus Christ, should bring us a joy that we can't hide.   We must go out into the world and bind wounds of those around us and show hospitality to those in need!

Our hearts must change as we are reminded that the God of heaven and earth has placed in us 

HIS JOY through salvation.

He's Got This.

The Lord has been blowing my mind recently with His faithfulness.  He has proven over and over to me that when I step out and trust Him, even when I don't understand, He will come alongside me and give me strength to do whatever He's pressing on my heart.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will direct your path." 

Proverbs 3:5-6

Taking those steps of faith and trusting in his sovereignty is not always easy.  Quite often he calls us to do hard things rather than easy ones.  Sometimes He'll ask me to do something that doesn't make sense in my human mind; and with all that's within me I want to run away from what He's asking me to do.  At times, I find myself shying away from the difficult things.  This is because, as a human, I cannot predict the future effects of my actions, and fear of the unknown can have the tendency to cripple me.  Far too often, I forget that our God is sovereign and He sees the whole picture: past, present and future.  He holds the entire world in His hands, of course He is going to hold me too.

"We have this hope as an anchor for our souls, firm and secure!" 

Hebrews 6:19

My dear child,
Do not fear,
For I am with you;
Do not be dismayed, 
For I am your God!
I will strengthen you and help you; 
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand!
(Isaiah 41:10)

It feels like God has led me to a dead end, or like the Israelites, to the vast Red Sea.  The Israelites couldn't make sense of why God had brought them to a dead end, they didn't understand at the time why they had come to this seemingly impossible obstacle in their escape from the Egyptians.  Wasn't God doing a good thing in freeing them? Hadn't He said that He would surely come to their aid? What now? Were they brought out of Egypt only to die in the desert..? But the Israelites had forgotten that the Lord was with them always.  He had never left them and was faithfully walking alongside them in their journey to the Red Sea.  In Exodus 13:22 it says, "Neither the pillar of cloud by day nor the pillar of fire by night left its place in front of the people." You see, God is not only with us in times of trouble, when He asks us to do what seems illogical in our own eyes, He goes before us in these difficult times.  The Lord never left them and was always in front of them, leading, guiding, and directing them to where they should go.  It was a lack of trust when the Israelites finally reached the edge of the Red Sea, a seemingly "dead end," that they were overtaken by fear.  

"Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today...The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still."

Exodus 14:13-14

The Red Sea was not the end of the road.  But in the Israelite's doubting mind, it was.  They immediately forgot God's faithfulness and how He had been with them and had gone before them.  He never left them.  The Israelites forgot that God was delivering them.  In the midst of fear and a seemingly "dead end," they began to doubt God's power and sovereignty over the situation.  They could have never imagined what would happen next.  God called Moses to take a leap of faith, he told him "to raise up his staff and stretch out his hand over the sea to divide the water so that the Israelites could go through the sea on dry ground."

...What?

This seems almost humorous.  Moses must have at least chuckled to himself when the Lord told him to do this.  "Seriously, Lord? You want me to do what?! Do You know the kind of ridicule I'll get for this if nothing happens?" But Moses took that step of faith and risked the consequences - whether positive or negative.  The Lord decided to blow everyone's minds.  He likes to do that...

After the Israelites got all of their complaints and fears out in the open and expressed their frustration in not understanding how God had led them to this dead end in their treck to freedom, God blew their minds.  As Moses took a leap of faith and raised his staff to the Red Sea, the ground started to shake, the waters started to jossel, and all of a sudden the vast waters began to part.  Two walls of water shot up on both sides of the path, fish and creatures of the deep swam throughout the walls as the people hesitently walked through and looked about in awe.  They must have felt foolish for complaining about God's provision and faithfulness as they walked through the Sea.  To top it off, the angel of God went behind the Israelites so that when the Egyptians came after the Israelites, God stood between them.  He allowed the Israelites to safely cross through to the other side and He mercilessly swept the Egyptians into the heart of the sea, and "not one of them survived!" (Exodus 14:28)

MY GOD IS FAITHFUL! Even when I feel like He has brought me to what seems like a dead end, I must remember that sometimes he brings His children to these seemingly impossible obstacles so that He can reveal His glory.  The Isrealites didn't understand why God had brought them to this stand still in their journey.  In fact, they expressed their lack of trust by complaining, becoming anxious and worrying about their near futures.  They didn't trust in the One who had proven Himself faithful to them over and over again...

The Lord commanded them:

Do not be afraid

Stand firm

You will see the deliverance that I will bring you today

I will fight for you

You need only to be still.

(Exodus 14:13-14)

So as I'm looking out at this vast sea of water that seems to be impossible to cross, I mustn't forget how the Lord has constantly been faithful.  He has brought me to this place to show me what happens when I listen to His voice, follow Him to the Red Sea, lean not on my own understanding, and wait patiently for Him. I believe that He will show me His glory.  But until then, I will rest in His promises; that when I trust in Him with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding, acknowledging him in all my ways, he will direct my path!!

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps."

Proverbs 16:9